Bad Medicine

The Family Man gets no ‘spoonful of sugar.’

My two-year old son Tommy has asthma. Each night before bed he takes medicine from his inhaler and also a pill. It has helped him a great deal this winter – he hasn’t had any of the congestion or the wet coughing he had last winter.

Tommy takes his medicine after we’ve read the nighttime stories but before we brush his teeth. Tonight I gave him his medicine while my wife got Chris ready for bed. As usual, Tommy took his medicine without a fuss.

After the medicine went down we began to play tickles. I had him laughing pretty good and he was having fun. Lying on my back on our bed, I lifted him directly above me. We were both laughing at this point when suddenly he stopped, his eyes grew huge, and he threw up.

Right into my open mouth.

I’d like to tell you that it happened in slow motion, that I saw it come out of his mouth, flowing down toward my face, knowing with horror what was happening but absolutely unable to do anything about it.

But it wasn’t like that.

One instant we’re both laughing and having a fun moment, the next instant my mouth is full of vomit that is not my own. If you’ve ever thrown up, you know what it’s like to have that taste in your mouth. It’s disgusting. You want to brush your teeth for 20 minutes and drink a gallon of Listerine.

Take my word on this one. It’s much worse when it’s someone else’s puke.

Of course, it didn’t ALL go in my mouth. There was plenty on my shirt, the bedspread, the pillows. Oh, and yes, there was some on his ‘blankie.’ And that’s what he noticed. I’m choking, gasping, trying not to throw up myself, and Tommy says, “Dad, wash my blankie! It has throw-up on it!”

It’s usually great to be The Family Man. But I’ve had better nights.