TV or not TV

Our house sits on a corner lot. The terrain slopes gradually downhill away from our home, east to west. Because of this, the style of our home and the retaining wall the original owners put in, our home sits slightly higher than the home on our back yard lot line, the home to our left, and the home kitty-corner to us on the back yard corner. Thanks to a few strategically planted trees, our back yard is relatively private.

The neighbors directly behind us have two young children, both girls. The oldest is just about four; the youngest is probably eighteen months. We know then in passing, waving hello when we happen to pass each other driving in or out of the neighborhood or if we see each other outside on the weekends.

You would think our kids would play together. Sadly, they don’t. It’s not because of cultural issues, neighborly unfriendliness, religious concerns or anything else.

No, it’s simply because their kids never seem to come outdoors.

We live in an area with a wonderful summer climate. In one of the driest states in the USA, we have summers with abundant sunshine and little rain. Our elevation and lack of humidity make for mostly warm, sunny days that are not oppressively hot and rarely humid. In other words, with sunscreen, we have a summer full of days that beg to be enjoyed outdoors.

We take full advantage of it. We’re in our back yard, front yard, one of the local parks, riding our bikes, or hiking in the mountains that are five minutes away by car.

The family behind us, on the other hand, never seems to be outside.

Yet their TV always seems to be on.

I know this because from Chris’s bedroom window we can look right into their living room window. Especially in the evening, the blue glow from their giant screen TV is not just visible, it is dominant.

Think drive-in movie dominant.

My point in spending the first 79 words of this post describing the landscape of our home and our neighbors has a point. I’m not a peeping tom. I don’t get off watching my neighbors with a telescope. But simply due to terrain, an upstairs window of our home lines up, between two trees, directly with what seems to be a family room window in their home, and it’s impossible not to notice the glow of a huge TV after dark.

While Chris gets ready for bed I’ve glimpsed NASCAR races, Monday Night Football and various movies. Sitcoms. Game shows

Often I see cartoons.

And that leads me to think that the TV is on far more often that just in the evening.

We regulate the TV Chris and Tommy watch. They watch Sesame Street, Arthur, or one of their favorite DVDs in the morning, no more than an hour. Sometimes in the afternoon, with the day care provider, they’ll watch a bit more. But once MBW and I are home, the TV is not on weeknights, and rarely on the weekend.

I’m sure I sound like a snob – as if we perceive TV to be some low-class opiate and we’re above all that. Like we are some highbrow intellectuals who only listen to classical music, play Baby Einstein CDs for the kids and only eat organic vegetables and home-grown grain, wearing clothes made from undyed fabric sown in certified sweatshop-free countries.

Trust me, we’re none of that.

But we do think it is important not to use the TV as a babysitter or a substitute for parental involvement. Sure, there are plenty of nights when it is tempting to park the kids in front of the TV, put Shrek in the DVD player and chill. But I’d rather make the time to play, read, or just mess around with Chris and Tommy than watch TV.

Part of this comes from the overall value MBW and I place on TV in the first place. Neither one of us are significant consumers of TV. I like to watch sports, but I’m lucky to catch part of a football game on any given weekend. I like to watch news, but it seems I get most of my news from the Internet these days. I do watch Nightline two or three times a week. Actually, I see more TV at the gym doing cardio than anywhere else. MBW has a couple of shows she likes to watch, but other than one program she isn’t fanatic about remembering to watch it. TV just doesn’t play a significant role in our lives.

This from a guy who made a living in the TV News business for ten years.

By now you’re asking, “Does this post have a point? And if so, would you please get to it?”

Okay.

My point is this. Being an infrequent consumer of TV makes social interaction difficult.

Today, at the office, one of my colleagues was making a point about the product naming exercise we’re currently going through. He said, “Remember that episode of The Simpsons, where Homer helps his long-lost brother come up with a name for a new car?” Everyone in the meeting had seen the episode.

Everyone except me.

I’ve never seen an episode of The Simpsons in its entirety.

I’ve never seen an episode of Seinfeld, Friends, Cheers, or any other recent sitcom start to finish. Lost? That describes me when it comes to discussing TV shows with friends and co-workers. Desperate Housewives? Despite the eye candy, I guess I’m not that desperate. West Wing? I’m not part of that administration.

Alias. I’ve never even seen a complete episode of Alias. And I’m a heterosexual male!

I can’t even name any more TV shows to try to create wordplay from.

Not only that, but if you want to discuss a recent movie, don’t ask me. The last movie I saw in a theater was the most recent Star Wars film, and only because our entire office had the afternoon off to go to a private screening last May. Prior to that, the last movie I saw in a theatre was Polar Express, because we wanted to take Chris and Tommy.

It gets worse.

In my PDA I keep a list of movies that I see advertised, know that I won’t see in the theatre but plan to rent. The idea is that when I go to Blockbuster I’ll have handy a list of films, and won’t have to stumble around the store trying to remember what might have been good.

The problem is I never seem to get there.

Right now the list is at 44 films. Some of the films at the bottom of the list are so old I can’t remember what they are about or why I wanted to watch them. Transporter? Knockaround Guys? Bad Company? Blue Streak? What are those about?

In fact, I can’t remember the last film I crossed off the list.

It’s almost as bad with books – the difference being I love to read, and the choices are too great. Right now, stacked up n my nightstand, are The Historian, Touching the Void, and a biography of Alexander the Great. I’ve recently finished The Dominion of War by Fred Anderson and Andrew Cayton, The Long Emergency by James Howard Kunstler, Collapse! - Why Societies Fail, and Germs, Guns and Steel – the Fates of Human Societies.

If you read this post you already know I’m a nerd.

Now you know that if you want to discuss recent or past episodes of virtually any TV show, you should probably find someone else to talk to.

TV or not TV? If that is the question, I believe I’ve given my answer.

It’s great to be The Family Man.