The Family Man has a personalized license plate.

We’ve all seen them. A message spelled out in the text of a license plate on the car or truck in front of you during the morning commute. The obvious [MY TRUCK], the silly [HI THERE], the truly personalized [DAVE] the job description [TAXI MOM], the sad truth [TIRED]. The few that are truly clever are vastly outnumbered by the many that are dumb, silly, or foolish.

You know how it starts. Some poor schlep is sitting in traffic one day and the vehicle in front of him, creeping along the freeway at 15 mph, has a license plate that says [HEY DUDE]. After staring at it for the next 10 miles he thinks, “That’s neat, I think I’ll get one of those.” He gets out of his car and decides that that perfect plate for his red Toyota Camry is [RED TOY]. He congratulates himself for being clever and hip, and when the plate arrives a few weeks later he proudly puts it on his car and drives slowly up and down his street, with his head held high, a newly minted member of ‘the club,’ the ‘hip’ crowd, and better than everyone else with mere standard issue letters and numbers on their red Toyota Camry.

No, I don’t want to be that guy.

If you’re going to get one of those plates it should say something about you, not your vehicle. Face it, your ride is not any more unique than any other of the same make and model that came off the line before or after it. I don’t care what fancy rims, paint, graphics or other add-ons you have – we can see them. Your license plate should not tell me something I can already see.

Just my two cents, of course. No offense meant if you read the previous paragraph and recognize that red Camry in your garage.

As I think about this, I’m also thinking of my kids (I am, after all, The Family Man). They aren’t old enough to read now, but at some point I’ll be driving them to or picking them up from school, practice or the movies, and I don’t want them to be (rightly) ashamed to get into a vehicle with a license plate that reads [BLUE BUS]. Even if my SUV was blue.

So the criteria, if I were to do this, are that the message should not be obvious, a tacky way to say something offensive [FUH Q], or a way to make sure people know something about you [BIG BUX], [PHD GUY] so you’ll feel important. I’m also on the fence about your favorite sports team [GO REDS] – just buy a pennant or bumper sticker or something.

That really doesn’t leave much, does it?

It took a while but I finally came up with the message I wanted. After checking with DMV I found that it was available, so I took it. It’s two words, six letters. It is not obvious, does not describe my vehicle, my job, my team, my faith, my family, my music, or any particular trait or feature. It does describe an attitude I believe in, something I aspire to but don’t always attain, something I put out there in public so when someone asks what it means (and people do) I am reminded that I want to live up to it every day. It’s something that will not offend or embarrass my children or my wife. It is the best personalized license plate ever made.

So do yourself, and all of us stuck behind you in traffic, a favor. If you’re going to get a personalized license plate, put some thought into it. Or better yet, reconsider. Because if you live in my state and see mine, you’ll realize yours is not worthy.

It’s great to be The Family Man.