Car 54, where aren't you?

There was quite a commotion at my house this evening.

Everything appeared normal as I pulled in the driveway. A few toys in the front yard, a scooter on the sidewalk, some colorful chalk drawings on the front porch. There was a white wiffle ball in one of the shrubs.

When I opened the front door and stepped inside it was a completely different scene.

The living room was full of emergency responders. Firefighters, police officers, EMTs, army soldiers – they were everywhere, dealing with every sort of emergency possible. No less than eight fire trucks were putting out a massive blaze on the love seat. Over a dozen plastic red firefighter figurines were working desperately to put out the fire. Five police vehicles had surrounded the ottoman, where a bad guy was holding several people hostage. I heard a loud chopping sound and just managed to duck as two helicopters whizzed past my head, off to rescue stranded hikers at the top of the lampshade.

Moving to the hall I saw a horrible disaster. Two planes had crashed on the long runway, which was now teeming with yet more fire trucks and police vehicles. Oddly enough, one plane must have been transporting farm animals, and there were cows, horses and chickens scattered amongst the flaming ruins. Apparently the National Guard had been called out, as Men in Uniform were patrolling the scene.

Could it get worse?

Moving to the kitchen, I learned the answer was, sadly, yes. A tremendous tornado had swept across the rail yard, scattering engines, coal cars, oil cars, flatbed cars and track pieces everywhere. Poor Thomas the Tank engine lay on his side, a sad look on his normally cheerful, chubby face.

Just at that moment Chris and Tommy raced into the room. ”Dad, Dad!” they shouted. “Come quick! A boat sunk in the ocean and the people need help!”

We ran to the bathroom where, sure enough, a capsized boat was bobbing in the bathtub. A plastic doll floated face down in the water. Chris moved the Coast Guard boat closer to the scene. “Hello, hello, rescue boat here to help,” he said in his best loudspeaker voice.

As he carried out the rescue, Tommy looked up at me, an earnest expression on his face. “Dad,” he said, “we’ve had a busy day!”

That’s an understatement.

So if you’re reading this, happen to live in my town and wondered why you didn’t see any police cars on patrol, fire engines at the station, or other rescue heroes going about their normal daily routines…I hope I’ve answered your question.

They were all at my house.

It’s great to be The Family Man.