Thanksgiving

Here in the United States of America it’s Thanksgiving. A national holiday, falling each year on the fourth Thursday in November. As a bonus, some employers, including mine, give employees the following Friday off with pay as well.

I, for one, have much to be thankful for.

I’ve mentioned in previous posts how fortunate I feel to have the life that I do. I don’t know how else to say it, really, and I don’t want this to be taken the wrong way. I absolutely don’t want to be perceived as gloating. But the truth is, I have a great life. It’s hard for me to imagine anyone having a better life than me.

Oh, sure, there are plenty of people with more money, people who are famous, people who have some tremendous gift in the arts, sciences or athletics. We all know people who appear to ‘have it all,’ people who always seem to get the break the rest of us don’t get. People who seem to draw a royal flush every time the cards are dealt in the Game of Life.

I’m not comparing myself to them.

What I’m talking about are real world people who face the same challenges most of us face every day. People who struggle with things like work/family balance, paying the bills, setting a little something aside for a rainy day. People who battle health problems, deal with difficult interpersonal relationships, difficult bosses or co-workers. People who have unforeseen setbacks and try to find ways to recover.

In this world, I feel extremely blessed and fortunate. My family is stable, my relationship with MBW is strong and mutually supportive. My kids are good kids, and aside from Tommy’s asthma we are all healthy. We have health insurance. That, in and of itself, is a huge thing. I like my job, my coworkers and bosses, and I am fairly compensated. We own our home. We have a small emergency fund tucked away someplace safe. We have reasonably nice vehicles that don’t break down all the time.

We even have a Camping Machine!

I don’t want any of you reading this to somehow interpret what I am saying to be that my life is better than yours or that ‘I have more than you do.’ Please don’t read this that way. What I am trying to convey is a mindset that says, “I’m lucky. I’m fortunate, I am blessed. My life is good and I’m grateful for what I have. Everyone should be so fortunate as me.”

And now, having said that, here’s my dirty little secret.

I don’t do as good a job as I should of appreciating those little things that make up this very fortunate life that I have.

“Family Man,” I can hear you say, “how can that be? How can someone with your perfect life be unappreciative? You disappoint me.”

I know. I disappoint myself sometimes.

But if you click here and read this blog, maybe you’ll get a sense of what I’m talking about.

There are dozens of moments throughout each day that should bring a brief moment of joy, a wry grin to my face, a happy thought in my head. They should, but often they don’t. They don’t because I am too caught up in trying to keep up, to do more, to add to what I have. I don’t spend enough time stopping, for a moment, to be aware of the moment, to appreciate the moment.

To live in the moment.

Life is made up of those moments.

If I were to be brutally honest with myself (something I’d rather not do, actually) I’d be forced to admit that I spend much of my time looking forward. “What’s next,” I say. “What’s coming up next month, next year, that I should be looking at and thinking about right now? I’ve got to plot, to scheme, to figure out how to get to this point by this time so I can enjoy that at some distant point in the future.”

And I don’t spend enough time stopping to think, “What a pretty sunset. What a nice thing Chris just said to Tommy. It sure was thoughtful that MBW stuck a love note in my lunch bag today.”

I had a birthday last month. I’m a Scorpio, so that tells you that I was born in the latter part of October. Usually each year I set goals for myself based on my birth year, not on New Years Day. The way I look at it, New Years Day for me is my birthday. I want to make progress each year that I’m here based on when I was born, not when the calendar says it’s a new year.

Well, we’re almost a full month into my personal New Year, and not only have I made no progress, I haven’t even finished my list of goals.

In fact, I’ve barely started. For all my looking ahead, I’m already behind.

But one thing I am going to do is work hard to try to appreciate some simple things each day. I may not make it every day, but I’m going to try.

I’ve heard it said (and I think I’ve said it here in this blog previously) that the things you regret most are not things you’ve done, but things you haven’t done.

I believe that fully. I have a list of things that I wish I had done, that I can’t go back now and do. But I don’t want to look back and kick myself for not recognizing, acknowledging, experiencing and appreciating those simple things that are so easy to ignore or take for granted. Things that you think will always be there or happen again, but which in fact disappear, are outgrown or simply never come back.

Because, after all, I have a wonderful life. If only I would occasionally stop long enough to relax and enjoy it.

Whether or not you find yourself, as you read this, feeling thankful for where you are and the things that are going on in your life, I hope you’ll be able to find something good, something positive, to be thankful for. And yes, I’ll be the first to admit that it’s easy for me to say that, given all the good things (and noticeable lack of bad things) in my life right at the moment. Even so, I’m working now to appreciate the little things.

How long have I been saying it?

It’s great to be The Family Man.